i made it this far to tell the story
19, 2012 and 5 seconds in, pyrite and bones in my pockets and a rattle in my tongue. the lounge was dusty( fireflies and dirt lips) and daggers were in pockets, men with rotten teeth who kiss you and you love them.
my king my love, an army battle and i who was queen. he lay in fluid affection, delicate ruin, stained the floor; bleeding blue to red, in blood death ritual a harrowing death. i carved out his heart and like a woven monogram my initials were neatly etched in perfect cursive.
i walk around bare footed. step on nails, glass, ghosts undertow but my sense of pain has diminished with the bees, so long ago my numb womb carried through dimensions of eternity and i awoke to find cruel velvet cloaked satan worshipers, hipsters with falsified dreams. years had past.
he was the best fuck i ever had.
then empathetic nightmares and the twilight zone at 4 AM because your dope sick.
waver and ween with me, looking for answers in the harsh yet delicate hours transpiring around me, ( a book on transcendental meditation dictated by my god) and then i found i was old and the banter and the parties made me want to puke and scream. shove nails in my breast and razors under my fingernails, i do not mind anymore.
given in to murderous behavior, waiting for immaculate change and opulence to seize me and violently disarm me.
the cooing doves that no longer sing outside the window.
the calico street gangs and coyotes roam hungry, metaphors for echo park, for us children who wont be tamed. he wouldn’t let his cats go outside, you cannot protect what you don’t understand.
{{act 2}} my back to the wall, in ribcage and protruding ankles i felt you touch me. i shook with a tremendous quake that my eyes rolled and twitched with a fierceness foreign even to me. Who were all these people?
In a dream i was married to a wolf, it was the future, a broad and desolate one. i could fly. i was riding my wolf, kissing it ; arms secured tightly around neck, legs straddled around center and….(tom waits humming softly)
do our spirits live and die in different bodies, did i see you there that night in my dream? the red room where we bathed our sins and the residual energies that captivated my heart and held me in oblivion, steadfast and holy we were married in ancient ritual. it had been lifetimes, in fire side and horseback, in war and swords, you saw my eyes and you remembered.
